This morning after my daily dose of Joyce Meyer I opted to watch the next televangelist rather than changing to Sportscenter or CNN. Her show was about teens waiting until marriage to have sex, which is a great message. Biblically it is what we are instructed to do. Four our own health it is the logical thing to do. There are so many sexually transmitted diseases that keeping yourself pure is the only way of staying safe. Then they went into other reasons why premarital sex is a bad thing. Among their most repeated reasons was because if you aren't a virgin when you get married you have nothing left to give your spouse when the time comes. I highly disagree. Doesn't saying "You have nothing else to give," convey the message that sex is the most important part of you?
I feel that telling our youth that giving up sex before marriage leaves nothing to look forward to contradicts everything we should be teaching our young girls. That is, if we are shaping them into wormen. From the time they learn about the opposite sex they should be taught that they are more thn a vagina. Their whole package is the prize. Any man should find value in all that a woman has to offer. Her body should be the least important thing to connect with. Teach these girls that sex isn't important because there's no gaurantee it's going to be as good as it's advertised. Until they find that person with a mind-blowing performance sex is pretty much overrated. It is a weapon of manipulation and distraction. The most amazing connections are made within the heart and mind. Teach the girls how amazing it is to meet a man who you can have fun with, who can teach you something. Make sure they know that sex is one of life's perks and not the ultimate prize.
Likewise, teach these young boys that a dick only makes them males, not men. A penis doesn't control them. It is not to think for them. When you don't put as strong of an emphasis on sex you allow young men the chance to grown into the person they were created to be. They don't have to use deception to get what they want. What they'll really want is true love. They'll want to learn who a person is. They'll appreciate what sharing space and time with a person feels like.
The program also talked about saving yourself for marriage so that you won't be competing against past lovers or have anything else to compare it to. In my opinion that takes away from everything we teach our children about self-esteem. GOD made us all to be the best possible "us" we can be. There's no need to compare one person to another because when it comes to the person you vow to spend the rest of your life with there is no competition. Comparing your spouse to your past lovers also teaches our children to focus on the wrong thing. A marriage isn't about what happened before the two became one. People unite with the person who was meant for them if marriage is done properly. Everyone who came before was just practice. When we consider a person's past we tend to bring judgement upon a person's current character based on past choices rather than the processing and application of present lessons. If who a person used to be is the same person they are now, then there's a serious disconnect somewhere.
I don't dispute that sex should be postponed until you are married. However, this doesn't happen often. More sound reasons why should be given. Instead of saying, "Don't do this because it's in the Bible," give them alternatives that are more appealing. "The Bible says not to do it," is an argument that can't be taken seriously if the person saying it isn't doing everything the Bible says themselves.
If we stop treating sex like a trophy people won't be so pressed to get it. We are so much more than sex. It's a forbidden fruit. Stop dangling it front of the faces of the youth like you would dangle a carrot in front of a house's face. Guide them in the direction of better things by using better bait. Show them the best parts of being in a relationship and ultimately a marriage: When you, as a complete person, find another complete person, and the two of you complement each other. Then sex will be one of the many spectacular things you share.